That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i've created a new STD.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
