Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
