So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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