you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
That accounts for only three of the penises
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize