Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
