two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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