apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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