I wish I could teleport
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
