dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
