He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
