You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize