weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
