Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
