She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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