I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
