I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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