I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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