Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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