mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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