It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize