Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Duck Duck Cougar?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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