Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
