I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
