I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
