I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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