There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
