I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
