Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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