Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She's the barista slut.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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