Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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