To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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