Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
