Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
