oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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