VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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