he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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