my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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