And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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