This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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