That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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