i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
