i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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