And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
