We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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