Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
