guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
