Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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