Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I need to calm my uterus...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
