i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
