You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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