McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
