they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
