youre lurking in front of me
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i out mim tonsoeep
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