The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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