I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
